Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Things that Haven't Happened Yet

As a public service, here is our newly updated list of the remaining things that haven't happened yet:

African-American elected president of United States
Water found on the moon
Peace in Middle East
Joe DiMaggio's consecutive-game hit record broken
World oil supply runs out
Bin Laden captured
Saddam is hanged
Starbucks announces cutbacks
Asteroid hits populated city
Major U.S. city ruined by flood
World Trade Center demolished by terrorists
Pete Rose enters baseball Hall of Fame
A famous ex-football player who kills people
Quantum mechanics reconciled with relativity
Britney Spears photographed without underpants
Time travel becomes possible
Global computer network for sharing pornography
Adam Sandler wins Best Actor
Polar ice caps begin melting
Huge tidal wave smashes 11 countries
Australia completely submerged
Secret identity of "Deep Throat" revealed
A prescription drug to induce erections
National ID cards implemented
Sisters genetically bred to play tennis
A "man" becomes pregnant
Electric cars that actually go
Bestselling memoir that inspires millions is mostly made up
Real mummy comes to life, attacks people
A popular Al Gore movie
Ability to turn invisible
Proof of extraterrestrial life
Respected actor wins top government job in California
Phillies win World Series
A national rating system for public drinking water
Cure for cancer
Robots take over
Chinese Democracy album is released

cross posted at Huffington Post

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4 Comments:

Blogger SBP Editor said...

Dude this is the most refreshingly hilarious blog I've read... well, ever! You should totally write for The Onion, except it's nice having something other than The Onion that's funny too, just for variety's sake.

January 19, 2009 at 1:09 PM  
Blogger RafĂ© said...

Schwarzenegger isn't respected?

September 29, 2009 at 5:53 PM  
Anonymous Newsforall said...

Very interesting article

February 13, 2010 at 9:24 PM  
Blogger Jordan said...

"Secret identity of 'Deep Throat' revealed"

I burst out laughing at that one. Thank you for making my day!

December 9, 2010 at 8:47 PM  

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