High School Nicknames Throughout History

The classic, one more time:

Jesus
“J.C.,” “Jeez”

Sampson
“Sam-bone”

William the Conqueror
“Conks,” “Conky”

Nero
“Neroid”

Henry VIII
“8-ball,” “8-dog,” “Hank”

Claude Monet
“C-Money”

Pope Pius III
“Pie-eye,” “Threepeat”

Oedipus
"Fast Oeddy," "Octopussy"

Marco Polo
"Marky Mark," "Water"

Confucius
"Connie," "Luscious," "Con-fuc-u-ous"

Ferdinand Magellan
"F-Mag," “Ja-Mellon”

Fyodor Dostoevsky
“Dusty,” “Skeezer”

Franz Kafka
“Vitamin K”

Nikola Tesla
“Testes”

Emperor Hirohito
“Hitman”

Mohandas Gandhi
“Mogus”

Queen Elizabeth I
"La Liz," "Her Heinie"

Charlemagne
"Chip," "Charlie McCarthy"

Euclid
"Ukee," 'Urkel"

Karl Marx
"The Mailman"

Louis Pasteur
“Germbo,” “Milkman,” “Big Lou”

Julius Caesar
"Jujubee," "Salad,"

Johannes Gutenberg
"Typo," "Jojo," "Steve"

Martin Luther
"The King," "El Protesto"

Chiang Kai-Sheck
“Kaiser,” “Shecky”

Alexander the Great
"A-Rod”

People You May Know (February 11)

Bob Skelding
Amanda Gessner
Emma Sophina
R. Dodd Haynes
Ruth E. Hogg
Vavra Suk
Chad Joy
Morgan Tsvangirai
Stewart Parnell
Ilya Dall
Reggie "Concrete" LaCrete
Tyler Winklevoss
Graham Gooch

People You May Know (February 6)

Schapelle Corby
Shai Agassi
Shane Hurlbut
Dewey Martin
John Schnatter
Boaz Weinstein
Felix Gen
Nadya Suleman
Christian Susana
Osamu Tezuka
Rodson Tong

If this list didn't bother you much, you'll love People You May Know: The Mega Directory.

Where Are They Now? With real-time updates!

A fancy new online service called Google Latitude lets you track your friends on a map in real time. Reminds me of something I did more than 8 years ago with the help of a site called Modern Humorist: a celebrity "Where are They Now?" tracker. Here it is. Though, uhh, this introduction sorta spoils the joke a little.


Johnny Bench
A member of the Cincinnati Reds from 1967 to 1983, Hall-of-Famer Johnny Bench was arguably the greatest catcher in baseball history.
Where Is He Now?



Janine Turner
As Maggie on “Northern Exposure,” Janine Turner was one of the hottest television stars of the early ’90s.
Where Is She Now?



Michael Dukakis
This four-term governor of Massachusetts was the Democratic presidential candidate in 1988.
Where Is He Now?




Ray Walston
As the lovable spaceman on “My Favorite Martian,” Ray Walston was a ’60s TV favorite.
Where Is He Now?